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The Acceptance Speech of the Imaginary Supervisor
Published Saturday, August 10, 1996

Time: An imaginary election night, 1998, about 11:00 pm
 
Place: An imaginary hall, bar, or street near the courthouse
 
Thank you for electing me to be your new Supervisor.  This proves you wanted new ideas and better ways of doing things.  I don’t forget promises, so let me remind you of just a few of the promises I made during the campaign.
 
Honesty, openness and respect.  You are people, voters, taxpayers.  You are entitled to the truth, reported to you in a fast and complete manner.  You are entitled to be treated as our employer, not a nuisance.  Amazing, but government lost this fundamental concept and needs to find it again.
 
Communications.  We will move the Board of Supervisors’ weekly meetings to Tuesday nights, so it will be easier for you to attend.  The meetings will be televised.  U.S. mail will be answered promptly.  All Supervisors will have e-mail addresses, and e-mail will be answered.  There will be a 24-hour complaint line and your complaints will get answered.  Each Supervisor will write a bi-weekly column for The Union.  All departments will be on the internet, and most public records, where allowed by law, will be available for instant viewing.  Each Supervisor will call at least ten voters a week to ask how we’re doing.  We will send out newsletters (with performance surveys enclosed) four times a year.  Finally, I’m holding an open house every Saturday afternoon at my house.  Soft drinks, beer and wine are free, so come on down and express yourself!
 
My salary.  I’m giving my salary back to the general fund.  The old Board was right: it’s small. So why keep it?  When all Supervisors do this, we can use the savings to add a deputy sheriff and a customer service representative to handle the complaint line.  I’m giving up my benefits package, too.  Future salary increases will be on the ballot, and will never take effect immediately.
 
Management Philosophy.  The Supervisors will set policy and goals for the county, give the department heads the needed resources, and get out of the way.  There will be no micro-management.  However, we will audit intensely to find any abuse of the public or dereliction in service, and we will micro-manage those problems until they’re resolved.
 
Budgets and taxes.  We will have an internal auditor to help us improve constantly.  We will have excellent outside CPAs and listen to what they say.  We’ll have a film commission to bring Hollywood revenue here.  We’ll have a Nevada County Visa card, which will bring us revenue from every charge.  All public rooms will be available for rental.  We will accept every reasonable offer of grants and loans.  Rather than approve fee increases, I will put proposed property and sales tax increases on the ballot, where you can decide if you want them.
 
Planning and construction.  The Planning and Building departments will aggressively help homeowners and small developers meet our requirements.  I’ll encourage well-designed housing projects and business parks.  My Planning Commissioner will be a member of the Land Trust, and there will be no zoning changes without public hearings.
 
Economic Development.  The county will generously fund the Economic Resource Council.  We’ll audit them severely to make sure our interests are well-served.  All grants to promote tourism will be restored, provided the money is actually used to promote tourism.  We will fund and encourage community television and static arts, including a community orchestra and band.
 
Data Processing.  The Data Processing department will get massive funding to ensure that all other departments are completely automated, so they will be fast and efficient in meeting your needs.
 
Your environment.  Our recycling centers will accept a greater variety of your used materials than ever.  I will work for a composting waste treatment plant.  County vehicles will run on non-polluting fuels.
 
Cops and the jail.  I’ll find a way to get the Sheriff’s Department salary increases, new cars, computers in those cars, and maybe a few bullets.
 
Those who believe county government should be run more like a business are right.  Every one of these concepts comes from successful businesses.  Remember, you are both my employer and my customer.  It’s my job to make sure you are well-served.
 
Barry Schoenborn is a technical writer, and a nine-year resident of Nevada County. You can write to him at barry@wvswrite.com. The opinions of columnists are not necessarily those of The Union.
 

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