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The
Acceptance Speech of the Imaginary Supervisor
Published Saturday,
August 10, 1996
Time: An imaginary
election night, 1998, about 11:00 pm
Place: An imaginary hall, bar, or street near the courthouse
Thank you for electing me to be your new Supervisor. This proves
you wanted new ideas and better ways of doing things. I dont
forget promises, so let me remind you of just a few of the promises I
made during the campaign.
Honesty, openness and respect. You are people, voters, taxpayers.
You are entitled to the truth, reported to you in a fast and complete
manner. You are entitled to be treated as our employer, not a nuisance.
Amazing, but government lost this fundamental concept and needs to find
it again.
Communications. We will move the Board of Supervisors
weekly meetings to Tuesday nights, so it will be easier for you to attend.
The meetings will be televised. U.S. mail will be answered promptly.
All Supervisors will have e-mail addresses, and e-mail will be answered.
There will be a 24-hour complaint line and your complaints will get answered.
Each Supervisor will write a bi-weekly column for The Union. All
departments will be on the internet, and most public records, where allowed
by law, will be available for instant viewing. Each Supervisor will
call at least ten voters a week to ask how were doing. We
will send out newsletters (with performance surveys enclosed) four times
a year. Finally, Im holding an open house every Saturday afternoon
at my house. Soft drinks, beer and wine are free, so come on down
and express yourself!
My salary. Im giving my salary back to the general
fund. The old Board was right: its small. So why keep it?
When all Supervisors do this, we can use the savings to add a deputy sheriff
and a customer service representative to handle the complaint line.
Im giving up my benefits package, too. Future salary increases
will be on the ballot, and will never take effect immediately.
Management Philosophy. The Supervisors will set policy and
goals for the county, give the department heads the needed resources,
and get out of the way. There will be no micro-management.
However, we will audit intensely to find any abuse of the public or dereliction
in service, and we will micro-manage those problems until theyre
resolved.
Budgets and taxes. We will have an internal auditor to help
us improve constantly. We will have excellent outside CPAs and listen
to what they say. Well have a film commission to bring Hollywood
revenue here. Well have a Nevada County Visa card, which will
bring us revenue from every charge. All public rooms will be available
for rental. We will accept every reasonable offer of grants and
loans. Rather than approve fee increases, I will put proposed property
and sales tax increases on the ballot, where you can decide if you want
them.
Planning and construction. The Planning and Building departments
will aggressively help homeowners and small developers meet our requirements.
Ill encourage well-designed housing projects and business parks.
My Planning Commissioner will be a member of the Land Trust, and there
will be no zoning changes without public hearings.
Economic Development. The county will generously fund the
Economic Resource Council. Well audit them severely to make
sure our interests are well-served. All grants to promote tourism
will be restored, provided the money is actually used to promote tourism.
We will fund and encourage community television and static arts, including
a community orchestra and band.
Data Processing. The Data Processing department will get
massive funding to ensure that all other departments are completely automated,
so they will be fast and efficient in meeting your needs.
Your environment. Our recycling centers will accept a greater
variety of your used materials than ever. I will work for a composting
waste treatment plant. County vehicles will run on non-polluting
fuels.
Cops and the jail. Ill find a way to get the Sheriffs
Department salary increases, new cars, computers in those cars, and maybe
a few bullets.
Those who believe county government should be run more like a business
are right. Every one of these concepts comes from successful businesses.
Remember, you are both my employer and my customer. Its my
job to make sure you are well-served.
Barry Schoenborn is a technical writer, and a nine-year resident of
Nevada County. You can write to him at barry@wvswrite.com. The opinions
of columnists are not necessarily those of The Union.
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