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A Pocket Guide to Voting Against Dole
Published Saturday, September 14, 1996

Scott and I agree there’s life outside Nevada County and we should pay some attention to the 1996 Presidential election.  Next month, we can return to serious issues, like imprisoning children for playing in Grass Valley streets or sending Nevada City’s neo-hippies to iternment camps until the end of the tourist season.
 
We could bore you with details about the records of the Presidential candidates or their stands on issues.  But then you might vote based on facts, and that’s not the American way.  No, our tradition is to vote against a candidate, with our judgment based on sound bites and half-truths.  Both Clinton and Dole have given us plenty of negative perceptions about past acts, character and general demeanor, so there’s plenty to vote against.
 
However, Bob Dole is clearly the greater of two evils.  Since he brings nothing good to the Presidential race, we must vote against him.  If you don’t have your own list of reasons already, here is your pocket summary.
 
The Imaginary Tax Cut.  Dole’s promise of a 15% tax cut doesn’t make him a liar. Rather it shows that he lacks credibility, doesn’t grasp economics, believes in phony giveaways, and insults our intelligence.  Doesn’t exactly inspire me to vote for him.  The tax cut is a promise Dole cannot deliver, yet he expects us to salivate over it.  Anybody can figure that when you spend more than you make, you don’t reward yourself with a 15% bonus.  As my mother says, “You can’t have dessert until you finish your broccoli.”
 
The offers of tax rebates for folks with kids (where only a fraction of Americans qualify) and capital gains reductions (where big corporations get the biggest benefit) are just Pork-a-Rama, and keep us from balancing the budget.
 
Blank about the Plank.  Remember the Republican convention?  One day Dole was telling pro-choice Republicans that the party welcomed diversity of views (meaning we’re not all rabid anti-abortionists).  He wanted such words in the abortion plank of the platform.  The next day diversity appeared in watered-down language in an appendix no one will ever read.
 
No Friend to Women.  It’s easy for a woman to vote against Dole.  First he caves in to the radical pro-baby interests, the anti-choice zealots those who want to turn you into a witless baby-making machine.  Then (and I grant you this is guilt by association) the California Republican Party has given half a million dollars to pass Prop 209, the campaign to end affirmative action for women.  How can women support a candidate or a party that works so directly against them?
 
No Clue About Crime.  The other day Dole was on CNN saying, “The cause of crime is criminals.”  From this deep logic follows the idea of more prisons, tougher punishments, and the usual hogwash that does nothing to reduce crime.
 
You Also Get His Friends.  Corporate robbers and extremist wackos are now eagerly preparing for the New Repressive Order.  Tremble with joy at the prospect of a Newt Gingrich Congress and a Bob Dole White House, with Pat Buchanan and religious extremists in your face constantly, banning books and passing laws against everything.  On the corporate side, I suspect all mergers will be blessed, environmental regulations will be ignored, and price-fixing Archer-Daniels-Midland, a big Dole backer, will flood the world with high fructose corn syrup from Kansas.
 
He’s Just Too Old.  Bob Dole is 72 years old and will be 73 on inauguration day.  That would make him the oldest president ever to hold the office, four years older than Ronald Reagan when he took office.  Given that US life expectancy as of 1995 is 72.5 years for men, I wouldn’t bet any serious money on Dole making it through his first term.
 
Queen Elizabeth of Dole.  If Hillary Clinton gets your goat, you wouldn’t want to see Libby Dole (AKA Hillary II) in the White House.  Evidence and rumor indicate she is tougher, smarter and more ambitious than Hillary.  It doesn’t take a leap of reasoning to see that as Bob turns into a vegetable, Libby will become the main dish in the White House.
 
I could go on, but that should be enough for you to make up your mind.
 
Barry Schoenborn is a technical writer, and a nine-year resident of Nevada County. You can write to him at barry@wvswrite.com. The opinions of columnists are not necessarily those of The Union.
 

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