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A
Pocket Guide to Voting Against Dole
Published Saturday,
September 14, 1996
Scott and I agree
theres life outside Nevada County and we should pay some attention
to the 1996 Presidential election. Next month, we can return to
serious issues, like imprisoning children for playing in Grass Valley
streets or sending Nevada Citys neo-hippies to iternment camps until
the end of the tourist season.
We could bore you with details about the records of the Presidential candidates
or their stands on issues. But then you might vote based on facts,
and thats not the American way. No, our tradition is to vote
against a candidate, with our judgment based on sound bites and half-truths.
Both Clinton and Dole have given us plenty of negative perceptions about
past acts, character and general demeanor, so theres plenty to vote
against.
However, Bob Dole is clearly the greater of two evils. Since he
brings nothing good to the Presidential race, we must vote against him.
If you dont have your own list of reasons already, here is your
pocket summary.
The Imaginary Tax Cut. Doles promise of a 15% tax cut
doesnt make him a liar. Rather it shows that he lacks credibility,
doesnt grasp economics, believes in phony giveaways, and insults
our intelligence. Doesnt exactly inspire me to vote for him.
The tax cut is a promise Dole cannot deliver, yet he expects us to salivate
over it. Anybody can figure that when you spend more than you make,
you dont reward yourself with a 15% bonus. As my mother says,
You cant have dessert until you finish your broccoli.
The offers of tax rebates for folks with kids (where only a fraction
of Americans qualify) and capital gains reductions (where big corporations
get the biggest benefit) are just Pork-a-Rama, and keep us from balancing
the budget.
Blank about the Plank. Remember the Republican convention?
One day Dole was telling pro-choice Republicans that the party welcomed
diversity of views (meaning were not all rabid anti-abortionists).
He wanted such words in the abortion plank of the platform. The
next day diversity appeared in watered-down language in an appendix no
one will ever read.
No Friend to Women. Its easy for a woman to vote against
Dole. First he caves in to the radical pro-baby interests, the anti-choice
zealots those who want to turn you into a witless baby-making machine.
Then (and I grant you this is guilt by association) the California Republican
Party has given half a million dollars to pass Prop 209, the campaign
to end affirmative action for women. How can women support a candidate
or a party that works so directly against them?
No Clue About Crime. The other day Dole was on CNN saying,
The cause of crime is criminals. From this deep logic
follows the idea of more prisons, tougher punishments, and the usual hogwash
that does nothing to reduce crime.
You Also Get His Friends. Corporate robbers and extremist
wackos are now eagerly preparing for the New Repressive Order. Tremble
with joy at the prospect of a Newt Gingrich Congress and a Bob Dole White
House, with Pat Buchanan and religious extremists in your face constantly,
banning books and passing laws against everything. On the corporate
side, I suspect all mergers will be blessed, environmental regulations
will be ignored, and price-fixing Archer-Daniels-Midland, a big Dole backer,
will flood the world with high fructose corn syrup from Kansas.
Hes Just Too Old. Bob Dole is 72 years old and will
be 73 on inauguration day. That would make him the oldest president
ever to hold the office, four years older than Ronald Reagan when he took
office. Given that US life expectancy as of 1995 is 72.5 years for
men, I wouldnt bet any serious money on Dole making it through his
first term.
Queen Elizabeth of Dole. If Hillary Clinton gets your goat,
you wouldnt want to see Libby Dole (AKA Hillary II) in the White
House. Evidence and rumor indicate she is tougher, smarter and more
ambitious than Hillary. It doesnt take a leap of reasoning
to see that as Bob turns into a vegetable, Libby will become the main
dish in the White House.
I could go on, but that should be enough for you to make up your mind.
Barry Schoenborn is a technical writer, and a nine-year resident of
Nevada County. You can write to him at barry@wvswrite.com. The opinions
of columnists are not necessarily those of The Union.
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