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Holidays: Having Fun in a Brave New World There are no "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire." There is no "Jack Frost nipping at your nose." These romantic words from a song whose title few people know ("The Christmas Song") apply to a world and a Christmas season that no longer exists. Nobody knows what a chestnut is or who Jack Frost is. Christmas has been replaced by the "Holiday Season," an entirely different ritual marked by many new and unusual rites. Is this so bad? No. I formerly believed that we were losing something precious and replacing it with something worthless. Now, after great reflection and meditation, I see that we have created a wonderful, whacky, new season. It is our invention, a miracle of Americana, and we should respect and honor it. Let me describe it to you. The triumph of the corporate spinmasters is that this time of the year is called the Holiday Season, even though there are no holidays celebrated. It is actually the Buying Season. It theoretically embraces Christmas, Channukah, Kwaansa, and (by some stretch of the imagination) Ramadan. While its inclusiveness seems to be due to political correctness, it is actually due to commercial correctness. As I trace it, Christmas gift giving grew, and the Channukah celebration borrowed the idea of gifts and even the Channukah tree. Kwaansa is a recent phenomenon and borrows cards, gifts, or whatever it wants. No matter what you call it, it’s our country’s hottest time for moving merchandise. Our Ancient Roots To be fair to us, ancient events have inspired our modern American behaviors. First, even the three kings who traveled to worship the baby Jesus had to buy gifts in advance. Fortunately, buying for kings was easy--just gold, frankincense, and myrrh. They also had to plan for the trip. Second, pagans of various ages gave us multi-day Solstice/Saturnalia festivals. Surely, they had to shop well in advance to get enough mead, haunches of boar, and virgins to satisfy the attendees. Well, feasts are like that. Our Modern Version The holiday season begins in mid-November with decorations appearing, not in homes and stores, but on the shelves of Longs, K-mart, and the supermarkets. You know this moment well. It is a sign, a warning that the time to buy is not long off. The official opening day ceremonies begin the day after Thanksgiving. CNN shows clips of people standing in line in the early hours of the morning to rush into stores. In Nevada County, people run madly to craft fairs. This early start allows us to enjoy the illusion that we’ve got our shopping done. This never works. Tough choice: whether to buy your child the nostalgic wooden truck from a craft vendor or the $34.95 computerized Angelica dissing the other Rug Rats. The frenzy of shopping is interrupted only by the following: meals gulped down in the malls; quarrels over what to buy whom; school plays; office parties; small personal parties; addressing and sending cards (what a quaint notion!); wrapping gifts; going to Christmas movies; watching old and very old Christmas specials on TV; and a dinner at Aunt Ruth’s. A new modern marvel is shopping on the Internet, for those days when you just can’t handle the big box stores or Broad Street. Christmas Day passes quietly, as men assemble toys, find that the batteries were not included, and yearn for a decent football game. The official (and perhaps most important) day of the season is December 26th. This is Feast of the Returns and the Festival of the Half-Price Sale. These are vital moments, when we realize that the shopping isn’t done until the shopping is done. Yet, this moment gives us closure, helps us unify, and lets the nation move forward together. The Secret Benefit No matter what the bizarre externals of this crazy season are, the core of the season hasn’t disappeared. We are all still free to reflect on the spiritual significance of the holidays, be with our families, maybe even go to church/synagogue/mosque. God may be everywhere, but He lives at the church, not the mall. Have a happy holiday! Barry Schoenborn is a technical writer, and a 12-year resident of Nevada County. His column appears the second Saturday of the month. barry@wvswrite.com is his e-mail address. The opinions of columnists are not necessarily those of The Union. |